Things They Have No Right to Tell You

Most of my important relationships have failed, but here’s what you should do about yours.

I’ve never written a book, but here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with yours.

My business never got off the ground, but here’s how you should run yours.

My blog has five readers, but here’s some free advice on how to attract attention.

I have almost no experience in doing anything that matters, but you should hire me to manage your social media campaign.

Picasso didn’t know how to draw, and Van Gogh was a fraud. I know this because I took an art history class in college.

I traveled to Mexico once; let me tell you all about the world.

My unfinished novel is brilliant, but the editors in traditional publishing don’t recognize quality.

People just can’t acknowledge my talent. Nobody understands my genius. It’s all a scam.

Here’s my subjective experience, which I will now objectify for you as universal truth. My definition of success is the only one that matters, even though it has shifted over time in accordance with my unique journey through life.

I have no space in my brain to accommodate the fact that your experience might be completely different than mine.

Sorry.

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Photo by Kat Smith