Coming home from a recent trip, I thought about bringing flowers. Wouldn’t that be nice, I thought.
I imagined the flower buying, the flower delivery, the credit in the relationship account produced by my thoughtful action.
When I finally made it off the last flight and the train ride to the transit center, I was tired. I remembered the flowers, but then decided: I’ll do that another time.
Then the other day, I thought about something I had promised to do for someone else a while back. Several times I had thought about doing it; my intentions were good. But yet, nothing happened.
Last night I got the Inbox down to 15. I was too busy to reply to the last 15 people… but it’s the thought that counts, right?
I sent money for Haiti. Later I thought about sending more, but I didn’t do it. I’m sure everyone down there appreciates how much I thought about them while I was eating my pumpkin scone and reading the news at Starbucks.
Every day I think all kinds of nice things about people, and maybe 5% of them make the transition into something I actually do.
Thinking about someone doesn’t help them.
It’s only when our thoughts translate into actions that we reach out of ourselves and impact the life of another.
That’s why action is so important. If you’re not sure whether you should reach out to someone or not, the answer is probably YES. Your action may help them and it may not, but if you don’t reach out, you certainly won’t help.
You have to check in, to fulfill commitments, to do whatever. You have to do.
Not just think. Thinking doesn’t help. What you don’t do doesn’t matter.
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January 25, 2010
Beth Scanlon
Thanks for giving us this reminder. I know this is something we have all done and it’s part of the human condition and our crazy lives. I have set a goal for myself to reach out to at least two people every day. If someone pops into my head, I act right away by calling them or sending them a card, just to let them know I am thinking of them. I don’t let the day pass until I’ve reached out to at least two people. Of course I think about more than two people every day, but keeping it small is very doable for me.
January 25, 2010
giocomocasanova
Well Chris, sorry, but I believe you are wrong here. Without thinking, no actions for the good or the bad would ever take place, and clear thinking, when turned into actions that promote ones long term best interests, are even better.
January 25, 2010
Someone
Sorry to note to the predictable protesters…prayer “studies” are sheer pseudoscience. And we wouldn’t need to act if wishful thinking made things happen.
It’s interesting that commenters are bringing up actions that can be more subtle – carrying a positive mood throughout your day, for instance, which could indeed influence others – but this blog post is a strong and stark reminder that we could be so much more effective with more overt action than that. I’m going to see how I can be more conscious of failures to act that could make a big difference.
January 25, 2010
Darcy Joslin
Nice post Chris. In reading through comments (and forgive me if I did not see this already posted) and what comes to mind is “ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS”. Or, in this case, just thoughts. And lack of action falls into this category. LACK OF ACTIONS SPEAKER LOUDER THAN WORDS.
January 25, 2010
Anton
How do we know how the other person is thinking, sometimes its ok to reach out and give a Hug!
January 25, 2010
Fabian
Ahh, what a nice kick in the ass right here on a Monday. This will help the whole week…
January 25, 2010
emma
Wow, I absolutely LOVE this post. You have just revealed one of my biggest weaknesses. The list of things I THINK about doing but never actually do could fill a stadium. It’s something I’m trying to change, and I am changing it, SLOWLY. This reminder of how important it is to ACT could not be more timely. Thank you!
January 25, 2010
Astor Gravelle
It’s the same as producing art. My professor always told us students that “ideas are never good if they remain in the head and not on the paper.”
And in addict recovery meetings they always tell you that “half measures avail you nothing.” In other words, just thinking about stopping the drink is worthless if you don’t take the action to stop it.
January 25, 2010
Mercedez
Good thing I read this today! I have a friend that I have been “thinking” about for about a week now, but have been way too busy to call or email. After reading this I grabbed my cell out of my pocket, and called. Just as I suspected there was a lot of drama going on in her life, and she needed someone to confide in. You’ll never know what difference you can make in someone’s life until you reach out.
January 25, 2010
Brian Monahan
Good point!
There are many people who share the same thoughts, there are fewer people who act on them. The latter are the ones who make the difference in the world.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
January 25, 2010
liz
Amazing. A visiting priest at church yesterday said almost the same thing.
I confess to almighty God,
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do;
Sins of omission are just as bad as what you have done. I am realising this more and more. Thank you for reinforcing that I need to ACT not just to THINK that I am doing a good deed because I remembered…
January 25, 2010
heidi
We don’t think ourselves into a better place, we act ourselves into a better place.
January 25, 2010
Heidi Howes
I kind of disagree with you, Chris. I know your post is a call to action for people who aren’t doing and they are just thinking, but it sounds like you are doing all you can. When I know I am doing everything I can and yet it still seems not to be enough, that is when I turn to thoughts with intention like a loving-kindness meditation or a prayer. Call it what you will, it is a powerful action, and I know that it produces results. So when you can’t physically do something, or when you don’t have money to give, you are not helpless or pathetic — and no matter what your religious or spiritual practices, many traditions have one way or another to send love and support via direct transmission — through the heart.
January 25, 2010
Joana
A great reminder about the importance of taking action…it goes nicely as well with the idea that my mother instilled in me of “it is always better to be generous.”
January 25, 2010
Sylvia
Heard a quote a while back that has always stuck with me and I think relates well to your post.
“We judge others by their actions, we judge ourselves by our intentions.”
Just thought I’d share.
January 25, 2010
RJ Weiss
Nice post Chris.
I once read a book titled, “Action! Nothing Happens, Until Something Moves.” The cover alone was worth the price of the book.
January 25, 2010
Meg
This translates over so well into many other things, not just relationships and kind actions.
If you want to do something different, or try something out, it doesn’t do you any good if you don’t go out and do it! Definitely a message I need to remember more often than I do. Everything I’ve worked on and learned does no good until it’s applied and in practice.
January 25, 2010
Genevieve
I think thoughts prayers, and positive affirmations do have their place. Sometimes you are not in a situation to do something in the way of physical action.
When physical action is possible, however, the law of spontaneity applies–when you have the thought about the action, do it then. That way you can move on to a new thought without dwelling on the missed opportunity of the old one!
January 25, 2010
Christine
Like many of you, I’ve heard the old saying – ‘It’s the thought that counts’.
And hopefully like many of you, realized that this is just the same as someone saying rain on your wedding day is good luck… it’s something to just make you feel better about a bad situation or something that you didn’t do.
What you do does matter. It may be the thought that counts, but the action counts even more.
January 25, 2010
Robert Granholm
Geez, I remember when I could get in the top 10 comments! Great content. I especially liked this post. I identified with it in the realm of supporting people with their technology questions, bugs and what not. You have to be fully “in” … you have to enter their world. That transcended for me in your examples above. Alternative post title: Don’t half ass it.
January 25, 2010
Sherry Ott
Thanks for the reminder on this…or should I say kick in the ass…that woke me up!
January 25, 2010
Jenny
Well said. Imagine if we all did *more* for each other?
January 25, 2010
Nathan Schmitt
It’s a good point. The same can be said for learning/finding the tools you need to succeed vs. focusing on real output. Though I love finding new tools/strategies, the rush and productivity that comes with focusing on output is amazing. I’m doing a video blog of my upcoming major lung surgery and I’ve done a ton of research, but now I’m just focusing on doing what I need to do.
January 26, 2010
Errol Moo Young
Thanks for the reminder, there’s so much I should do, call family members, a friend, a client, and the mind can invent some great excuses. Your blog will be a great procrastination eliminator today. Thanks.
January 26, 2010
Julie
Can’t tell you how many times I made the same speech to my soon to be ex-husband. Thinking about telling me something important doesn’t get it on my calendar. Musing about appreciation isn’t the same as actually communicating it (I prefer heartfelt words spoken with eye contact to flowers any day.) One-sided discussions that take place entirely in his head are not helpful to the relationship, no matter how well he might have anticipated my response.
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January 26, 2010
Brooke Ferguson
Ya, I do this all the time, too. On the flip-side, if I did every act I thought about doing for people, I would have absolutely no time for anything in my life. One of the things I’m learning now is to not worry about giving people stuff or sending them things, but to just be very present in their company. Most people, I’m finding, would rather be heard and appreciated… and that is a gift we can give daily, and freely.
January 29, 2010
Don Holkum
Addendum: At the very least all of those ‘un-realized’ thoughts resulted in your posting here. Guaging by replies, those thoughts and this post proved to be very effective.
January 29, 2010
Tyler McCann
Chris, this is such a simple short article but it is so powerful. Shortly after reading this I heeded its advice and started becoming more active in my service clubs and offering my assistance. Even when I had a crummy day, helping others (instead of merely thinking about it) had a tremendous impact on improving my outlook.
January 29, 2010
Wyman
Great thought provoking post, Chris,
I think of all the businesses that don’t call you back. Maybe why many of them fail.
You can’t do everything, but you can do a few things for others in every area of your life.
Our reputation is based largely on our promise to follow though. Under promise and over deliver.
I spent years as a scout leader. I tried to instill in the boys that “do a good turn daily” was not just something to repeat.
January 30, 2010
Mark Harai
Great message Chris – thank you for motivating me to get busy with some things I’ve been thinking about for far too long!
January 31, 2010
Michael Dundas
Simple and great post! And so true. I don’t do new years resolutions, but I have been working this personally for the last few months. Not that I was bad at it before, but I found that people that I truly respect all were better at this than I was. If they think like me, then to keep their respect, I need to do the same.
-mike.
February 3, 2010
Brenton Gieser
I love the simple reminder that intention and thoughts don’t mean much with action behind them. Thanks Chris!
January 14, 2011
Isabelle Bouchard
Finally someone who dares to write this out. We all do it. We reason and justify everything and every thought. Thank you for this active reminder to take action. People remember and appreciate kind gestures.