I visited a large company to give a talk about non-conformity and adventure. From all appearances, it was a well-run company doing good things.
Many of the employees came up to me afterwards to chat, and I asked each of them, “How are things at _____?” Most of them said that things were good, and I had no reason to doubt them.
Others had a different response, and either from what they said or how they acted, it was obvious that they weren’t happy. Several of them talked with me confidentially and said variations of the following:
It’s not a bad job, but my creativity is very limited.
I find myself constantly daydreaming of [something else].
I liked it here at first, but now I feel stifled.
These statements were invariably followed by something like: “I shouldn’t complain, because everyone tells me how good I have it. Lots of other people have been laid off or can’t find a job in the first place. Besides, I have good benefits here.”
Hmmm. Yes, it’s good to be grateful for what you have. Lots of people do have it hard these days, and that’s unfortunate.
But here’s the thing: it can be a good job at a good company, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you. In fact, if you’re constantly daydreaming of something else, having a good job can be dangerous. A good job can keep you from a big life.
Sometimes what makes sense during one season doesn’t make sense in another; a commitment that was fulfilling at one time loses its allure. In these situations, pretending all is well is usually the wrong answer. If you’re discontented, it’s up to you to make a change. And if it really is a good company or organization that has treated you well, you’re not serving it well in return by giving it less than your best.
Aside from remaining stagnant and trudging along, when you find yourself in a good job that no longer meets your needs, there are only two options:
1) Find a way to bring the joy back to the good job.
2) Find a way to say goodbye to the good job.
You might think that leaving is hard. Of course it’s hard—it would be much easier if it were a bad job. Then the situation would become urgent and you’d do everything you could to get out as soon as possible. But because it’s good enough, you stick around.
That’s why, one way or another, something has to change.
Question: Have you ever found yourself discontented in a good job? What did you do?
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Image: Dick
May 10, 2011
van gogh...
i have a good job too, it the best brand in india in the sector i work, its the best paymaster and the people here are nice to me. Atleast my immediate team. I get to do a lot , lot of work, every year i get a very good performance rating, but i dont know where am i going. I just sit in this cubicle and every day its the same. I dont think there is a career path for me, while they give me a rating but they say we will look at you the next year for promotions. My reason to not be happy is not because they are not promoting me. Its that we dont have clarity on what we want to do as a team and what i want to do with my time, we are too adhoc.. Every one wants to control me , Every one want to give me some free advise. I dont know how unclear we are, how are people around me living a life full of compromises , just to get a pay check… And then they say every other company will be the same… I need a break and may be re work on my priorities… i need to find work , where we can meet people… and do some thing meaningful…
May 10, 2011
Michael
How about a good job that you define yourself, doing the things you love, setting your own rules, work hours, and time off for the other things you love, and at the same time making enough to give yourself all the benefits you need to feel comfortable and safe?
Surely it’s possible for everybody in the world, if we could just believe in it. For sure it is possible. No doubt about it.
Imagine what the world would be like then? Sounds wonderful!
It’s where I’m heading from my lousy job with good benefits.
May 10, 2011
Shannon
That’s really sad just as the situation I am in right now. You even cannot complain to your friend who would say “you’ve already got everything good enough, what else could you complain? think of me!”
I hate that..
May 10, 2011
Jonathan
I’m constantly telling people to leave their unfulfilling jobs and they just laugh at me in that sarcastic, yeah-whatever kind of way. Here in Spain, where unemployment is 20%, leaving a job is about as irresponsible as most people could possibly imagine.
May 10, 2011
Ellen
I guess you must have hit a nerve with so many posts. Thanks for bringing this topic up.
@ James: I know how you feel, I had the same problem for years after having been thrown into the corporate world. I hated it but had no clue what I wanted. It takes a lot of time and inner search and experiments and patience to find out what your talents are and what makes you happy. For me it was teaching and holistic medicine, so I combine the two.
@ Eva: Great move. Which NGO did you do your training with if I may ask?
So many great entries. What is a “good” job after all and why are so many people unhappy with it? I guess what we realize is that money is not everything after all despite a downward spiralling economy. Self fulfillment is way more important. However, it takes much more energy, commitment and willingness for sacrifice. You have to find clients yourself, you have to become your own marketing director, IT professional and all other things. And it is a long, long road to go. Yet, the Marxian “estrangement” from labour is overcome and we feel whole again – hopefully. I do
I guess most of us do. Good all to all.
May 10, 2011
Barbara Winter
Good job is an oxymoron. And so 20th Century.
May 10, 2011
Jeffrey Davis
13 years ago I found myself in a seemingly good job for an academic. Good pay. Recognition. Decision-making roles. Great course load. The problem? I was burnt. The interim dean was a good ol’ boy. I knew my days and weeks could flow better, that I could do better work for more people. With little saved & vague ideas about how to re-define myself, I resigned and never looked back.
The clients I work with now face the same matters we all do that relate to financial security. But more and more of my clients’ issues go deeper than money. Their reservation – like mine – has to do with an identity quest (not crisis). They find themselves in what I call fertile confusion. And leaving a non-fulfilling job or trying to re-frame their attitude toward a good job is often part of a deeper situation. Ultimately, to navigate that situation requires a lot – an optimal mind, allies, and a series of productive creative habits that empower the person.
Not an easy road – but the creative or non-conformist path is by its nature challenging.
Thanks for your post and for your great work. (Also, it was fantastic to meet you and participate in your Master Class at 99% last week.)
May 10, 2011
Jay
What I appreciate about this blog and this post in particular is the focus on the individual. When someone is unhappy, especially at work, it is easy to blame the company, the boss and/or coworkers. Blaming is negative and unproductive though.
Taking ownership of your own happiness and taking action is positive.
It is also refreshing to see in the majority of the responses that people are taking ownership of their happiness without blaming the job. Thank you.
May 10, 2011
Ardlisse
I feel exactly the way James feels and I mean exactly.
May 10, 2011
Vincent
I used to have one of those”good” jobs like you mention. They bought my car, paid for my insurance and gas and paid me a lot of money to sell for them. It was a great job, but over the course of the time I was there I realized like you metioned that it was not a great job for me.
I am currently doing my own thing. Do I miss the money? Perhaps a little bit but I have gain much more in freedom so I mind it at all!
May 10, 2011
Heather
I have that “good job” right now. Good pay, great benefits, but bored out of my skull on a daily basis. Every day I go in, I count down the hours till I can leave for the day.
I’m in the same place of saying “I know I shouldn’t complain… ” but I can’t convince myself to be happy.
I knew when I graduated college that I wasn’t cut out for the corporate/cubicle world, but 7 years later, where am I? The beige cubicle with the beige job. I want out, but I don’t have the courage or faith in myself to think I can make it outside of the “traditional” job. That’s where I’m stuck now. I look at my website name “Wannabe Vagabond” and it’s what I want, but I’m not brave enough to go get it… so stuck in the good job for now.
May 10, 2011
Sammy
Oh, if only everything always lined up perfectly in life! I think many people go through this conundrum at some point; often it takes experience and perspective to know when it is happening, and knowing if making a change is the right thing to do in your current situation. Sometimes it just isn’t smart to make a change depending on what’s going on. I can honestly say that right now I have a great job, work with great people, get paid well, but am just not engaged. There are very good reasons for this (that I won’t bore you with!) but I know that change right now would do more harm than good. It’s a good decision right now to stay and put in my best effort, so that when I do make a change (and I will) I’ll still feel good about my contribution.
May 10, 2011
Kerrie
I transferred through a big Eastern airport to my West Coast-bound flight when I last travelled overseas. It was a nightmare with system glitches everywhere: poor routing configurations, inadequate staffing, aggressive staff/customer interactions, equipment breakdowns at every point~ I even reprimanded the security guy for being an ass to the elderly people in front of me in line. I’m not generally a rule-breaker, but I thought the whole system was ridiculous and completely flawed. Just like the “rules” that tell us a good job is our protection against future threats.
Our families have told us for generations that safety counts more than happiness, that stuffing your feelings of dissatisfaction or anger or fear or whatever is critical for survival. Thankfully, it’s no longer true!!
Reconnect with and follow your hearts, and we’ll all be stronger for your honesty.
May 10, 2011
Danna
I found myself feeling similarly in a job I had had for 5 years. I had been thinking about what else to do for at least 2 years. I applied to graduate school and the Peace Corps simultaneously. So did my husband. We got accepted to both and I quit my job. We’re finishing up our classes right now. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
May 10, 2011
Alexis Grant
Thanks for this post, Chris. One of your best yet. And the comments = inspiring!
May 10, 2011
Barry
Your description reminds me of advice I once received about relationships. The dangerous relationships aren’t the bad ones, but the mediocre ones. The bad ones you know to get out of, but the mediocre ones can take a very long time before you make a decision.
To answer your question – I know it sounds corny, but I promoted my way out of it. Part of my frustration arose from a lack of developmental opportunities, and a new position was invented, as if by magic, right at the time I was looking to leave. If only all of us could be so lucky!
May 10, 2011
Wyman
I like choice one. Make your job fun. Make it fun and exciting for co-workers and even the boss. Be a Linchpin. Cut out additional profit niches for you as a joint venture partner.
May 10, 2011
Lois
This post really made me feel good. I was in the same situtation 3 months ago. It was indeed a good job. I was training people and I liked doing that a lot. But somehow it felt lacking. I felt I benefited the company more than the people themselves. I would much rather be motivating people and offering them something they can use in their lives and not just their jobs. So I quit. I am now traveling in SE Asia and trying to find ways to make a living doing what I love. Which is traveling and writing. Thank you for constantly inspiring us Chris.
May 11, 2011
Tony
I’m really thinking about taking the leap. My wife makes enough for us to SURVIVE. It wouldn’t be as comfortable as it is now, but I bet the sacrifice is worth it. I would pursue my passion for writing by starting a blog. The only problem is that I know it will take a while to actually make money blogging. It would be a risky move to leave my good job but sometimes you just get that feeling that “everything is just going to work out.” All you have to do is take that first leap of faith.
May 11, 2011
Chryle
I had a good job for 6 of the 8 years that I led a small nonprofit. The last two years were bad and stressful. Since I believed most of the problem lie with unfortunate changes in the board, I was determined to wait it out. After all, boards are temporary. In the end, a disgruntled employee teamed up with the few bad board members and I ended up losing my job. The funny thing is that although I am still unemployed six months later, I am glad politics did me in. I no longer fit the organization and I had too many talents and skills that were being squashed. Sometimes getting fired makes your world right again. When I do finally figure out what is next for me, I will be sending a thank you note to the four who worked so hard to get me to move on! The continuing support I receive from my professional peers and contacts in the community is wonderful and a reminder that a bigger, better life is in store for me.
May 11, 2011
Tisha
If I feel I should leave a job, I will simply save up a little cash, and buy a plane ticket out of the country for a least one month. By doing this, I am placed in a new situation with new opportunities and perspectives. When I return, I always feel that I have grown to the extent that I couldn’t possibly return to the previous job. I take my new perspective and place it in my foundation from which to build the rest of my life. Next month its India. Woot, woot!
May 11, 2011
Brett Henley
Love this post … love the conversation and response even more.
My better half and I are in similar shoes. Both want to travel. Both are capable creatives that want out of the 9-5 race. Both want to help improve lives.
Sticking point for me in this conversation has to be the concept of value. I have a difficult time with the “you’re lucky to have a job” commentary.
To me, it implies that your value or potential dead ends at current job, when in reality, most of us are worth far more than our salaries, roles or responsibilities indicate.
May 13, 2011
Drew G
A few years back, I had a “good” job at a well respected and growing company. The job paid well, was steady, and I hated it. It ate away at my creativity and energy. So I quit to manage a rock band. I went from consistent work to managing an entrepreneurial lifestyle.
For anyone out there who wrote in the comments or is thinking that you just “can’t do it” for whatever reason (yes, there are good reasons to be hesitant about quitting, like supporting a family), I want to encourage you that you can and should. You have a choice and if you want it, you can find ways to make it work. I did it in a bad economy with lots of risk involved and I’d do it again in a minute.
May 13, 2011
Chris
Quoting James above because this is so right on point and there is no way I could have explained my feelings any better.
“The thing is, I can’t remember what I really wanted to do anymore. I feel like that has been beaten out of me, like there is something that I should be doing, but I can’t even see what it is anymore. I have read the books, believe that I can do things and venture out on my own, but I have NO IDEA what that thing is. I’m sure that, at some point, I used to know, but it seems like a long time gone. I don’t mind hard work (some of the best times at the job are fueled by working hard), and it’s scary and exciting to think about setting my own agenda. But I’ll be damned if I know what that is.
For now, I stew. I work the factory (figuratively) job, and crank the widget out. And keep trying to figure it out. And feel lost.”
Well said, James. At the very least, we have the comfort of knowing others are in the same boat as us.
May 20, 2011
Sara
I stayed in a “good job” that I wasn’t particularly happy at for almost 13 years. It was intellectually and cratively numbing. I stayed for the money. At the end I was making $60K for not doing much of anything. Even on the good days I felt I was living a lie, and that I would be found out or they would decide I was overpaid and let me go. But they never did. When the company got bought out and those who chose not to move with the new company got a nice severance (including me!), I felt validated for enduring. Yet I’m not sure it was worth it. Could I have used that time more fruitfully for self-discovery? Perhaps…
July 8, 2011
Luriana Edwards
This has indeed happened to me. I moaned and moaned enough to make me look for another job with better money and better my life. I have never looked back and am enjoying my life and my job much better. Even my family are better, all down to a small amount of money. Fantastic. I wish you all luck. Thanks, Luriana x