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What, exactly, are the rules?
Why do these rules exist?
By whose authority are these rules upheld?
What’s more important—the spirit or letter of these rules?
Has anyone ever found or been granted an exception to these rules?
Could these rules be bent, modified, overlooked, or otherwise changed?
Will someone be penalized for excelling under the rules?
What are the consequences for breaking the rules?
What are the people who made these rules really afraid of?
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Feel free to add to this list if you’d like. I’m traveling this week and will post as many comments as I can from the road.
Image: TVD
October 24, 2011
Christina
Interesting post. For me two things come to mind:
1)What will happen if/when I break this rule?
2) Rules work because most people are too lazy/scared to question what they’re told. I’m sure we’ve all been through customer service hell with an employee who can do nothing but tell you “that’s our policy”. It’s much easier to blame the rule than come up with a creative way to bend the rules. Same for just about any situation where some guts, work, and creativity would be required. “I’m not allowed to…” can be an easy way to let yourself off the hook.
October 24, 2011
Wyman
Some rules are needed because common sense is not too common. Yes, question any that don’t make sense to you.
October 24, 2011
badbillygoat
I think one should understand the difference between a “law” and a law or rule. A law is created by a man or men to govern others to their way of thinking. A “law” (scientific) is not created by man and governs everything. This is why I am a non-conformist because I value logic and objective thinking (thank you Aspergers), not some subjective man made device. Here is my life motto:
“When you push yourself to the limits, is it the laws of nature or the pain forcing you to give in to them that makes you stop?”
Just today I had a great exerience living with in the rules. At my job I am in training. I decided early on to ignore the rules and blaze my on trail. For my first progress check I did excellent and better than my peers, must to dislike my trainer who made the rules. Today, I had my second progress check and I failed. However, at the end of the day I still came out ahead because my path is showing my boss that I have initiative like he has never seen before. Talking with him, he recognizes I will trip and stumble along my path, but he realizes the rules are only going to hold me back. That’s why he has my back and lets me ignore the rules.
October 24, 2011
Maggie Dodson
@Julie Kucinski – Lack of ‘rules’ in Iceland leaves spaces where the magic can happen. That’s lovely. We need more of this.
In Dakar, Senegal there are now NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS whatsoever, the remaining sentinels in the city centre having died between my last two visits and yet somehow everybody manoeuvres their way through. I’m told there are accidents but in two months I didn’t see one and I loved not having to stop constantly for the lights; it makes for a nice smooth ride which helps you to arrive at your destination feeling calm.
Studies have been done, in Sweden I believe, on the effects of no lights and it turns out people are much more considerate of other drivers and pedestrians when they have to make up their own minds.
Rules encourage herd mentality and with it very often an abdication of personal responsibility.
Rules are there to control people because they make the rulers feel safer about what the general population is up to.
After all, if everybody did their own thing we’d have anarchy wouldn’t we¿
October 24, 2011
Nick
The point is to not generalize. You have to think for yourself. Don’t blindly follow the rules, consider both sides of compliance and noncompliance with the rule, and move forward bravely if the later is possible and works better for you.
3 additional questions:
1. Is it possible to break the rule? (see below)
2. Is this really a rule?
3. Am I just conforming to some sort of norm?
You may just discover how to do something differently.
Hmm, I see 2 rules right in front of me, check the bottom of the page: A name and email are required in order to post a comment (2 rules) not really much choice if I want to post this comment.
October 24, 2011
Joyce
Wonder who has broken rules in a village and has the whole population sneering at them for the rest of his life. Great if you can go somewhere to escape it all, not, if you are tied at your limbs and have nowhere to go.
October 25, 2011
Victoria
Oh this is a good one and I love the comments.
I’d add “By what process can the rules be changed? Is negotiation possible or are these rules set in stone by you for all time?”
If the answer to the first question is “No, they can’t be changed!” and 2. “No negotiation is possible!” then, hey, I’d say you’re living in a dictatorship and revolution is the only answer
October 25, 2011
Richard Howes
A good friend of mine has a great saying,
“Rules are guidelines for the wise and gospel for fools”
I have found again and again in life that the gatekeepers of the rules often have no idea why the rules are there. The other thing that happens a lot with rules is that the reason for the rule falls away but the rule remains without anyone realising its no longer needed.
So always question the rules. They may be unnecessary, invalid, or downright dumb. Then again, they may be there for a reason, and some are
October 25, 2011
Creatrix Tiara
What are the rules?
Says who?
October 25, 2011
BK
This is a great thought-starter…more food for thought: A government’s only real power is its power to control its citizens. This tends to play out over time as a polarizing of society into controllers and the controlled…and those who won’t be. I’m glad there are still some free thinkers around
October 25, 2011
Kathleen Cole
Whether we’re discussing rules or law, an essential question is whether people serve the law or whether the law serves people. As rules become outdated or irrelevant and/or serve only the few … we are the ones charged with instituting change.
October 25, 2011
Penny
I love this topic and could go on for hours…. I was raised with more rules than most and my life was so boring and stress filled. As I have gotten older I have found that I follow social and posted rules based on interpretation and how serious the consequences if broken, like will I fall off a cliff if I step past the rope….. I find everyone has their own set of rules, outside of the norm, usually based on up bringing and these rules to me are the hardest to work around, it seems that these rules are the ones that are steadfast and can really create alot of friction. And, as stated in previous posts, most people don’t even know why the rule exists in the first place.
October 25, 2011
Maria
Rules provide structure. It’s usually good to start with rules.
Once you learn to play the game according to the rules, you can test whether you need to revise them, or not.
October 25, 2011
Sherold
The rules in our minds are like psychological electric fences that prevent us from living the life of our dreams. These rules are made by social conditioning, religion, parents, culture and so on.
I like the mantra: Screw the rules. This doesn’t mean that I do wild and dangerous things, it just means that I question rules in my mind.
Inquiry is my light saber – my industrial power tool.
Martha Beck wrote these Qs, which I love to use with clients:
- If I didn’t care what people thought, I would _____.
- If I were sure I’d succeed, I would ___________.
- If I had the nerve, I would ____________.
- If I could be certain it was the right choice, I would )________.
- If I weren’t worried about the future, I would ________.
- If I had the freedom, I would ___________.
Now pick one and do it!
October 25, 2011
David Kirshbaum
What if the rules changed and nobody knew?
How can you change your own rules when you outgrow them?
What rules your choices and behaviors?
What choices do you have in a world of rules?
October 26, 2011
Phil
Whenever I visit America I am always struck by a) how many rules there are and b) how in fear people are of breaking those rules. There is an absolute blind devotion to these edicts from above.
I don’t see that anywhere outside of north america, with the exception perhaps of Japan. But in Japan there I have yet to see a ‘rule’ or signpost that was not in the true interest of the greater good.
In America it seems that rules are in place to give petty minded people a crutch to beat you with.
While in LAX a couple of weeks ago I had to take a piece of luggage over to the TSA area myself (it was a fragile musical instrument I needed ‘checked’). I walked into the little room and handed it over. One guy started freaking out. ‘You want to go to jail?’ he asked over and over. I was like ‘what are you talking about’? He was going on about the sign that said no one was allowed in this area.
That must be a nice idea for him because it meant no one could come in and make them do their job, but, it turns out that the sign was actually facing the wrong way. The ‘no admittance’ part was on his side and on the public side was a list of what you could have in your bag! I pointed this out. He was not receptive.
October 26, 2011
Uttoran Sen
I remember to have missed such a rule, somewhere it was mentioned not to climb the mountain-like structure, kind of an old temple, can’t remember exactly where. Since, i missed it, i started to climb the stairs and sort of reached halfway when people at the foot of the stairs started to shout that it is mentioned somewhere in the corner, in a message board that the stairs are unsafe and can collapse… so i could had fallen down.
They started to shout so much that i had to rush down, which almost resulted in my fall. I so nearly regained my balance and slowed down while coming down…
The rules can be a reason for the cause of the problem itself, after all, that rule was made for the safety so that the travelers do not fall down, which almost made me fall…
My suggestion is that the rules had to be made by more sensible people, the maker of the rules and those that are the enforcing it, has to be criminally charged for their actions… only then the stupidity and the carelessness of such rule makers can be avoided.
October 26, 2011
christl
My Dad used to say to me, in order to have freedom you need to have laws (rules). They provide a frame to live within.
That made a lot of sense to me, especially when I pictured a society without rules (laws), where anyone could do what they wanted at will. Since not everyone is peace-minded I decided that living within a constitution and laws that protect Human Rights is definitely worthwhile.
October 27, 2011
Cindy
For the most part in life I’ve found that I can only control how I respond to the things life throws at me, I can’t control they way people conduct themselves, but I can make my own personal ethical and moral policy that will me keep me safe.
Example… If someone wants to burn up the road and needs to get ahead of me in traffic, by all means I can spare a few seconds which allows that individual his right to the road and thereby put that person in front of me. At least that way if that individual speeds and drives crazy the he or she will be in front of me not behind me, and I can now see that person; this gives me a measure of distance and some control over the situation. So by allowing that person to be as dangerous they want (unless an police or some other authority finds him); I have control over that situation.
It appears to me that we are rumitating over the basic topics of FREEDOM and PRIVACY…and how much that do we/I actually have? Do you know? Do you have some backroom knowledge?
Don’t pay for or allow injustice to take place or continue if you have knowledge (if YOU CAN SEE down the road better than I), stand up and make your voice heard. Report it.
October 27, 2011
Joerg Henninger
What should they protect us from?
Who benefits from the rules?
Who would be harmed if you don’t follow the rules?
Who would be harmed if you follow the rules?
October 27, 2011
Megan Merchant
I follow rules that help me and my loved ones perform physically, emotionally, and spiritually well, live peacefully with others, and avoid negatively impacting world around us. If a rule meets that criteria, it’s a keeper!
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October 28, 2011
Juli
You know, I’ve forgotten most of what I read in AoNC but the one thing I remember vividly is the fact that gatekeepers are the ones who tell you your options are A and B while neglecting to mention C and D. I can honestly say… that idea itself opened my eyes. It’s a beneficial questioning of authority and while I don’t always get my way when I do it, I do get something a lot closer to what I want than the initial options presented.
October 29, 2011
Christy
I´m 21 and I have been asking my self these kind of questions for a long time….. why can these people make the rules and expect everyone to follow them without problem?
November 1, 2011
artgrab
I’m 38, and my first question is still, “Says who?”
November 1, 2011
sue
Who makes these rules and why do you believe them? I say this all the time.
What is the source of a rule. Do I or should I trust the source. A good rule
is one where I do not need to relearn the mistakes of others.
November 2, 2011
Rick
Rules are meant to be broken (think creative destruction).
Even those who made the rules, often do not believe them or live by them, so why should we?
If rules are to be used as guidelines, then look to nature instead and learn to be wise first.
November 17, 2011
iktomi
All rules have consequences attached to them when broken, whether the rules make sense is not the point. So therefore you risk punishment and whether or not you knew the rules existed will not be a defense. Welcome to reality. It may be a good idea to work on rules that you think unfair to have them repealed..good luck on that, too. Another touch of reality in this world of “freedom”.
February 16, 2012
Lisa Bush
I think the question of the role of rules in our lives is especially interesting in the world of art. I once talked with a fine art photographer who explained something I also learned in an art history class I took (practically a decade ago now…). Anyway, in the art world, it seems that rules exist to establish a status quo for a while. And also, it establishes your place in the art community. However, all rules are made to be broken, and in order to break the rules the best you have to know them really well.
February 19, 2012
Tom
You must have noticed – The people who lay down the rules have PREMISES. Mother at home. Boss in the office. Shopkeeper in his shop. Manager in the restaurant. etc. Step over the thresh hold and THEY lay down the rules. AND they are covered by the LAW! Many instances. 1) Girl friends want me to live in HER place. They can kick ME out, rather than suffer the humiliation of me kicking HER out. (If it came to that. But the threat is always there.). 2) Restaurant manager always expected a YES answer, because I ate free every night. I went along because I wanted to do these jobs anyway, for ME! One night I flippantly refused an idea of his because I did not want to do it. OH the FUSS! Moved my table three times. And the threatening body language! There is a subliminal message. Obey or I kick you OUT!
Ones own premises gives you a degree of “Authority” Power to kick the dis- agreeable person out. The final check mate. I win.
The subtle put downs. Someones house. You go in and sit down. “Oh not there!” and they move you. or the boss leaves you standing. No chair.
You are on their game board.