What, you didn’t know that Luciano Pavarotti was huge on Twitter?
Oh yes. Or at least, he could have been.
See, every day I talk with various people about their projects. Inevitably, I hear a lot of questions that are rooted in this premise:
“How can people give me their attention?”
In other words: “How can I get more for myself?” The more in question varies: interest, customers, website traffic, subscribers, money, whatever—but it always relates to an increase in focus on the individual.
There’s nothing wrong with any of those things. I’d like more too. But motivations can be interesting predictors of success. The more that we want tends to come along when we give more, but when we give because we want to receive, it doesn’t always turn out so well.
If it sounds complicated, it’s not. Here’s the secret:
Some singers want the audience to love them. I love the audience. -Luciano Pavarotti
Interestingly enough, in the business I’m in, I’ve noticed that almost everyone who is successful in the long-term lives by this lesson. Yes, there are a few exceptions. But you can usually tell how it goes down within a few minutes of meeting someone—and these days, you can “meet” someone whether you’re in the same place or not.
Therefore, the better question to ask is:
“How can I give more?”
Sometimes I’m ashamed at my giving / receiving ratio. Look at that guy Jonathan Fields! He’s always saying nice things about me. I can’t keep up. I wrote him and said, “Dude! Slow down. You give too much.” (To which he said: “There’s no scorecard.” Of course he would say something like that.)
Look at that guy J.D. Roth! He writes about me all the time, even knowing that some of his more conservative readers think I’m crazy for spending my money on flying to Cape Verde without a good reason.
Quick update on that: British Airways is still on strike, but last night I made it back to London on a charter flight operated by EuroAtlantic. I’d never heard of EuroAtlantic before, but BA switched me over to them and it worked out OK. Next stop: Sal Island.
These people, the Jonathans and J.D.s of the online world who give back all the time, are incredibly rich in goodwill. I feel like I am permanently in their debt, and it makes me want to give them whatever it is I can give.
And of course, it’s not just the famous people. It’s Everyone Else. All of YOU who read from more than 100 countries now. Every day I look at the comments, the emails, the trackbacks, the fun things everyone is doing and think… am I really giving enough? How can I give more?
Understand: there’s nothing wrong with promoting your thing, asking for help, making a living. I don’t even think there’s anything wrong with wanting more.
But I figure the first step is to adopt Mr. Pavarotti’s perspective. It seemed to work out fairly well for him, even without a fan page or a LinkedIn profile.
Give back. Show love. If you want to change the world, love the audience.
What can you give the audience?
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Image: AA
March 30, 2010
Cheryl Paris
Hello Chris -
Great work here. Being yourself is one way to get the more attention. I am taking this a little off track. People who have won Big brother or Big Boss catch the audience by being themself and not someone else. No drama queens or kings have won the competition.
As Mahatma Gandhi said – ‘be the change you wish to see in the world”.
Bye for now,
Cheryl
March 30, 2010
Joe Oviedo
Beautiful Chris. Let’s give more. A lot more. Let’s give love.
March 31, 2010
Wilson Usman
I really like what jonathan fields said “there’s no scorecard” this is now big in my life too. “Don’t keep score” you don’t repay people with money anymore, we live in a new economy and we pay with generosity. “That’s the new currency” if you ever read never eat alone you will understand that’s a great way to build relationships. Don’t ask anyone when you meet them what is in it for me? but, what can I do for you?
March 31, 2010
LInda Pilgrim
Thanks for reminding me of another person w/sincerity (and another).
Your thoughts nicely complement something I was just reading by Regine Basha called “The Many Guises of Sincerity” for the contemporary art (non-profit/dot org) quarterly publication: ART LIES…
Safe and happy travels to you. -LP
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April 2, 2010
Carissa
True that! Loved this article
April 2, 2010
Matthew Newnham
Wonderful post, Chris. And the resulting conversation is a joy – what a great, thoughtful and dynamic community have gathered here!
Natalie The Tiny Soprano (what a great name – and latest blog post on Flirting with the Unprepared) makes a great point about understanding and managing your capacity for giving.
What I’ve found works best is the practice of “Effective Giving”, which I learned from Roger Hamilton and other leaders in the social enterprise arena (e.g. the ever-inspiring Lynn Twist).
This means:
1. Give from your core, where you have something unique or at least highly valued
2. Give selectively – where can we effect the greatest good?
3. Give to empower, not create dependency (see The Hunger Project, for example: http://www.thp.org)
4. Know when to pass the ball to others (i.e. learn to get out of the way)
5. Commit to constantly grow and sustain your own ability to give
Hope this helps!
Love what you’re doing here, Chris. Thanks so much for the inspiration and community!
April 3, 2010
Farnoosh
Pavarotti was a brilliant man and a beautiful soul….lost to us way too soon. I only wish I had had a chance to see him perform live one day. Loving his audience, I bet he did. And loving our readers, our communities, our fellow bloggers and our supporters, without first thinking what can they do for us, that is the best way to succeed – or to just live and be, whatever the outcome may be. Thank you for mentioning Luciano Pavarotti.
April 4, 2010
Sonicsuns
It’s ancient wisdom, really. Various cultures have this concept in one form or another. The Golden Rule, for instance, is a pretty similar concept.