A few weeks ago in Miami I only had a $5 bill when it came time to get out of the airport shuttle.
I’d love to tell you I gave the driver five bucks instead of the usual $1-2, but I kept it in my pocket and just said “Thanks.” Generosity fail.
When it comes to generosity, the general rule with me is: Win some, lose some. It’s funny how I don’t often regret being generous, but when I choose to be stingy, it comes back to me later.
It’s like dropping keys: some days I drop keys, some days I build cages. The goal is to keep tipping the balance toward key-dropping… more empowerment, less selfishness.
I really like the idea that “Generous people have more to give.” I’m not sure it’s always true, but it’s one of those things where it’s probably better to act like it’s true. Then if it turns out to be wrong once in a while, well, at least you were generous.
Another thing I’ve learned through numerous failed attempts at generosity: it’s easy to get hung up on why not to do something helpful. Self-justification has been around for a long-time, so if you’re looking for a reason to avoid generosity, you’ll probably find it. Thus it can be an uphill battle, but hopefully one worth fighting.
Freely receive, freely give. How can you try out that idea today?
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August 8, 2010
Rebecca H
You can never do a kindness too soon, as you never know how soon it will be too late….Amish Proverb.
Just a wise tidbit to temper discrection in the moment with!
August 8, 2010
Leila Anasazi
Yesterday the agent at the airport check-in counter was upbeat and helpful and our waiter at the coffee shop engaged with us in a genuine way. They were “just doing their jobs” but in a generous way which was true balm to our very weary selves.
Generosity takes many forms, and the “pay-offs” are unpredictable and often invisible–but so valuable.
I’ve always been a giving kind of person; I’m currently refining my understanding that being generous does not require putting myself last … the happier and healthier I am, the more I can give.
It was a gift of freedom when my rabbi explained to me that it is not up to me to determine the validity of someone’s expressed need–there are higher powers which contend with weighing people’s lives. So now I can give with an open heart when asked by strangers on the street.
August 8, 2010
Anne
I work in development for a non-profit, and one thing learned on the job is that philanthropy is greatly influenced by generational generosity. If your grandparents and parents were/are generous people, you are more likely to be too. Similarly, if Mom and Dad were/are stingy, you are more likely to hoard your wealth (however much it may be worth) rather than share it with others.
August 8, 2010
Su
I still feel guilt and disappointed with myself – when I saw a guy sitting in a doorway, cold and soaked from the rain with his head bowed in his hands. I ‘almost’ stopped and got a shawl out of my backpack to give to him. Something stopped me.
August 8, 2010
michele
that… and compassion. also easy to fail at but so simple to create.
August 8, 2010
Joan Campion
Absolutely, I have found that if I give what little I may have without worrying about it, it will turn out that I have nothing to worry about–I will end up having my own needs met, very often with bonuses I never even dreamed of. So my advice is, “When in doubt, give with an open heart.”
August 9, 2010
David
Keep up the interesting posts. The old saying “you get what you give” comes to mind….
August 9, 2010
Nancy
Thanks for the inspiring post! Reminds me when I was just 19 and hitchhiking to work at 5:30 in California, in the rain- some nice person stopped, gave me an umbrella and a ride to work-that made me a true believer in generosity!!
August 10, 2010
Sean M Kelly
Sometimes its a great idea to be generous with someone even though they’ll never find out it was you! For example you can send someone some money, or buy them a ticket to a movie or concert and send it to them without revealing who you are. It’s great if you hear them talk about it later and the difference it made to them.
Carpe Diem!
August 10, 2010
Andrea
Love this … what a testament to perseverance!
August 10, 2010
Tessha
I feel like I’ve been “taken care of” during hard times; sometimes, just because God cares but also as a cause and effect from having served someone else at one point. Besides, there is so much joy that comes from serving / giving. Nice uplifting topic Chris.
August 11, 2010
Jon W.
I thought it was too much of a coincidence to pass by…just this morning I read a proverb written 3000 years ago that said the same thing:
Prov 11:24 One gives freely, yet grows all the richer;
another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.
Chris, thanks for reminding us of a time-tested principle!!
August 11, 2010
Marilyn Oliva
I think generous people are just like that regardless of how much money they have. I remember many times when I have given my last dollar. I think we may be always looking for the feeling we get from being generous (i.e. feeling good about yourself, thinking it will come back to you somehow) and avoiding the guilty feeling we get when we don’t act with generosity.
I have even given when I know better just to avoid the guilty feeling. For example on a trip to Vegas, a well dressed man asked me to help him with cab far to the airport. He gave me some story about his wallet being stolen and took my business card saying he would send me a check. I gave him $40 and you know I never saw a penny. Even though his story seemed fishy to me it was better to lose $40 than to be left with the guilt of not helping someone who may have really needed it.
August 12, 2010
Brandon Yanofsky
“Generous people have more to give.”
Love that. I know when I’m more generous, I definitely feel much richer. Not necessarily with money, but with friends, experiences, etc. All the fun parts of life. And being generous doesn’t have to be money. It could be time, or even just befriending someone.
August 16, 2010
Sherry Ott
Chris – I hope to God you are going to write a book about how you obtained visas for all of these countries…I absolutely LOVE reading about it and appreciate all of the little oddities you share! I’m doing the Mongol Rally next year (drive from London to Mongolia) and am already anticipating the hassle of getting visas to drive through all of those countries!
August 16, 2010
Alexis
I love this experience. I was having breakfast in an hotel in Nagita, Japan. I was in between flights and flying out later that morning. At the next table a Nigerian couple were talking about their bill. The husband was saying, he was not going to change a $100US travellers cheque for a few cents. They were short for their bill and the waiter insisted they pay what was about 40 cents.
I leant over and gave the woman, (beautiful, in National Costume) a few dollars and she brought me back my change. This is what makes the world go round.