But that doesn’t mean that we have to sink to that level to succeed. I like to think (hope?) that these people are NOT successful where it really counts in life.

As for the hateful blog comments: I’ve seen more and more bloggers post manifestos about this in recent months; something to the effect of “Consider my blog as my living room, and if you say something impolite and completely uncalled-for to my face, I will not invite you into my home again.” They make clear that disagreement and criticism are certainly allowed, but everyone should respect each other and be able to back up their arguments, as you would for any colleague. But personal attacks and hateful remarks for their own sake should not be tolerated, and can’t be held to the same rules of “open forum.” They should be deleted without comment (and if it’s recurrent, that poster should be banned).

I just found you blog today and I am still exploring your content. I like what I see.

It appears to me. That terrorist is a better word than enemy. An enemy may have goal that just happen to be in conflict with our own goals.

A terrorist has no goal but to inflict pain and suffering. A terrorist wins when they change who we are and how we act. Don’t let the literary terrorist win.

Tell your friend, to keep writing, she has a story to tell and friend who want to hear it.

I hope your friend gets over the hurt and starts blogging again. Let us know!

I take nothing away from your friend, however, as negative comments, especially one that seems to have been so hurtful, are never easy to swallow. I’m happy for her that she is renewing her blog and look forward to reading it.

Great post.

I just started my first blog two months ago, so I haven’t had the “pleasure” of a negative comment yet. I’m assuming it’s just a matter of time until someone has to say “You call this good?” or something to that effect. The fact that I think I’m ready for it is why I was able to start posting in the first place. We shall see!

I was intrigued when I found that I, by professions and nature, am all three of your definitions of ‘enemy.’
I’m a critic (part of my long-time consultant business),
and a cynic (maybe due to first-born Aries raised in a time of distrust and a dogma-free home? — or maybe just the detective in me)
and I’ve been a gatekeeper for several clients and employers — big-wigs need smart filters: we let the good ones, the world changers like you, in to the gated-ones, and keep the cranks, like the one who shut down your pals’ desire to write, out.

I suspect I’m not actually the enemy of you, or of any creative entrepreneur. But it’s interesting who and how we label. I’m lucky you do have big goals — I have no such goals to change the world. But I am pleased to change the way a world is seen and interacted with, word by word, for one person at a time.

Thanks for the lovely post, and I can just imagine the talk you had with our beloved Naomi on the subject of blog comments… oy vey~!

For today, I am practicing remembering that I can put boundaries in place to love myself better. Yes. But eventually, I need to love to extend beyond me if I am really committed to changing the world. How do I do that? I’ll get back to you. But I realized through my recent experience with my said Negapants, that belittling, punishing or being disgusted with the behavior will never work because that’s what I experienced from Negapants to begin with and it certainly didn’t work for me… why will it work for them?

“It is only through love that you can return anyone to love. And if you do not have a way of returning them to love, they will always be a problem to your society.” ~Abraham, Esther & Jerry Hicks

I said No and just love her from here. That’s all I got for now. Well, and posts like these with commenters like yours. Thank you again. It’s great to see it resonating with so many other people.

I would rather suffer through a lifetime of women saying mean things to me, than even once be assaulted by a man. Words hurt, but words don’t maim you, cripple you, impregnate you against your will, or kill you.

More generally: I have learned the hard way that it’s important to look at the structure of what a person is doing, rather than the content of what they are doing. I am another sensitive blogger, but in my case it does not manifest so much by my running away and hiding, but by my getting really enraged and swearing.

And yet, rage and swearing are what is written off as “troll” behavior. A commenter can use the sweetest, nicest language and still be harassing me or threatening me, and yet their behavior will be overlooked or excused because they didn’t “yell” or swear. I, on the other hand, will be written off for reacting to them because I didn’t self-censor.

This trend is especially insidious among liberal types, but it’s about as useful as ignoring reactionary types and hoping they go away–neither works, and both result in bullies and reactionaries gaining more ground. So that I’m left having to make friends all over again, and this country is left hoping that it can cut its budget deficit in half by the time Obama’s first term is over, to say nothing of all the other damage that’s been done to our nation and to our world reputation.

It really is OK to be grouchy and irritable and even to swear in response to a genuine wrongdoing. Otherwise it looks like you don’t care about what’s happening, and bullies are emboldened.

They don’t deserve manners. Reserve those for people who aren’t bullies. That’s what manners are for.

I’m not out to change the world. I just want to set up my own private “empire” within it, and live healthy and well there. I want to live as best as I can for myself, my community, and My People. Those whom I am close to, and who share these goals, are My People. Negapantses aren’t.