Greetings from Burlington, Vermont. After today, I have a few days home in Portland, Oregon, then I’ll set out to visit the midwest and Great Lakes region starting next week.

In this (very windblown) video update, I talk about social media and why if you’re trying to build a platform, you should talk about yourself more than others.

Stay with me, because this idea is definitely contrarian to the conventional wisdom.

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If you can’t watch the video or just prefer to read, here are a few highlights.

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Shouldn’t you use social media to promote other people’s work? Isn’t it good to make others look good?

Well, yes, I think it’s generally a good idea to be a nice person. But I don’t think that has much to do with building your brand or platform. If you care about building a platform, it’s far better to actually do something of your own. This usually involves talking about yourself, and that’s OK.

Let’s take the case of someone like @lancearmstrong. I’m a fan of Lance, but he doesn’t know me. That’s OK, I don’t expect Lance to follow me back—and here is the critical point: I also don’t want him to spend all his time promoting other people’s projects and “retweeting” his followers’ notes. I want him to talk about what he’s doing, and I want him to share his own opinions. In other words, I want Lance to talk about himself.

Should you only talk about yourself? No, of course not. It’s good to share other resources, promote other people, and so on from time to time. But ultimately, people will follow you because you are doing something interesting, not because you are good at passing on other people’s messages.

This is why if you want to build something, you have to have your own message. If someone feels like you’re talking too much about your own projects, they can unfollow you. Whenever someone tells me they don’t like what I write or talk about, I always wish them well and say, “Hey, it’s a big internet out there—hopefully something else will resonate with you better.”

But more likely, instead of losing followers or readers, you’ll gain them once you start speaking out more and being yourself. That’s why you need a message!

So… what’s your message?

What are you working on over there, and what’s the next step? You can share it here in the comments for the world to see. As usual, keep the web site in the URL field (not the comment itself), and if you’re doing something interesting, you’ll definitely get your share of visitors.

Most importantly, be yourself! Don’t be shy…

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When you speak at a Carnegie Mellon University event with Fearless as the theme, you’ve got a couple things to consider.

One: it’s TedX! It’s Carnegie Mellon! Yikes. Intimidating audience of extremely smart people with high expectations. But two: since the event is about overcoming fear, no one will be surprised when you admit to your own fears.

In the 18-minute TED format, I talked about crocodiles, killer whales, strawberries, dropping keys, and writing your own permission slip. It’s fairly personal, so if you’re not interested, no problem.

I enjoyed the event and even enjoyed my part, which is miraculous since I’m usually scared to death of such things. The TED guardians finally released the video, and you can see it here if you’re interested:

Don’t see the video? Here is the direct link.

A few notes and highlights:

Many of us live our lives out of the fear of what other people think of us. We’re waiting for someone to give us a permission slip that tells us it’s OK to be ourselves.

The exotic is rarely the scary part. Moving to West Africa wasn’t scary at all. CHANGE is the scary part. Leaving your home is scary. Walking on a stage is scary. Packing, leaving, taking a leap—those are the scary things.

Don’t try to be fearless or pretend you aren’t impacted by fear. Just try to prevent fear from making your decisions for you.

My thanks to Sachit, Yongho, and the whole TEDxCMU team for organizing the event. You can see photos of the day here.

Last but not least, my friend Jonathan Fields was the anchor speaker for the whole event, and it’s easy to see why they chose him for the honor—check out his video here. If you can only watch one of our talks, watch his!

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If you can’t watch the video, here’s a summary —

Every day I talk with people about building something. Building a blog, a business, an empire, whatever. I’ve noticed that most of the questions I hear are all about logistics and tactical decisions: which shopping cart? Should I use WordPress? How do you host the images? And so on.

I’m happy to talk about anything related to the logistics; that’s how we all learn. You can ask me anything and I’ll tell you how it works for me. But… the thing is, none of that stuff really matters.

Changing the world is more important than having a tricked-out website. You can have the best website in the world, but if you don’t have a clear vision for what you want to do with it, no one will care. You can have a super-optimized business model, but if no one wants to buy what you’re selling, you don’t have a business.

Most important: You can learn all about tactics as you go along, but you have to have a clear strategy from the start.

After you have a clear strategy, then you can go back to some of the tactics. Then you can figure out what you’re doing and how to make it better, and you’ll see more of an impact. But starting with the tactics is almost always a mistake.

Bonus note (not from the video): when you start to succeed in getting your message out, a number of people will usually try to emulate your success. The interesting thing is that they tend to copy the tactics but not the strategy. Too bad for them, because they’ll only see a fraction of your success. This is another reason why you don’t need to worry much about competition.

In short, it’s like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland said: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”

Do you know where you’re going?

Here’s wishing you an amazing and ass-kicking week.

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This video update was recorded after my recent trip to San Diego. What a great place! Thanks to everyone who came out to welcome me.

Note: my assistant makes a guest appearance early in the video, so even if you were upset about my support for healthcare reform, you still might want to watch.

If you can’t watch the video, here’s a short summary.

1. Why am I writing about politics on AONC? Personally, I don’t think of things like equality and access to healthcare as political issues; I see them as human rights issues. It’s sad (to me) that they have become so politicized, but regardless, I don’t see why I should keep silent about an important issue just because a few people will get upset.

2. Fellow bloggers and anyone else with a platform to share your views: will readers abandon you if you actually say what you think about an important issue? Not really. If anything, you’ll gain more trust and respect. Watch and see.

3. Even if some people leave, so what? Maybe the people who leave weren’t the best fit for your community to begin with. If someone is really so offended about one opinion that they’re ready to write you out of their life, the relationship wasn’t that strong to begin with.

4. When I think about big moral issues (equality, for example), I take the long-term view. Thirty years from now, I don’t want to look back and say that I had an opinion and a platform but never spoke up. As I said in the original post, the truth always emerges over time; the challenge is to get it right before history has been written.

5. Be brave. Take a stand. People care about what you think. Don’t worry!

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This week I’m in Washington, D.C.. Next week is the product launch for Frequent Flyer Master, then I take a big trip to the Caucauses (Azerbaijan, Georgia, Armenia), then I turn in my book manuscript.

Thankfully, I like all of these things, so it’s not stressful. Hope you’re having fun too, wherever you are.

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Find me on Twitter: twitter.com/chrisguillebeau
Join AONC on Facebook: facebook.com/artofnonconformity

If you can’t watch the video, here’s a short longer-than-usual summary.

If you’ve read along for a while, you know that I attribute a lot of my personal success to an intense process of goal-setting I undergo every year. I call this my Annual Review, and ever since I started doing it each December, I’ve made a great deal more progress during the next year than I initially thought I would.

For example, I originally intended to visit 10 countries a year and I ended up being able to go to at least 20 for three years and counting. I learned I could manage grad school, full-time work, international travel, service commitments, and other events simultaneously without stressing out or dropping too many balls. It’s not always pretty, but it works.

Last December during the review, I included a fitness goal of running either one marathon or two half-marathons in 2009. Well, here we are in September, and I finally got around to running my first real race. In my partial defense, most races in my part of the world take place around this time of year, so I’m not super late. But it’s also true that while I’ve been keeping reasonably fit all year, I’ve definitely struggled in the long-distance running department.

Because of all my travel, consistent training has been tough. I try to work out wherever I am in the world, but running a few miles a few times a week is much different than training for a marathon.

Until the day of my half-marathon, I honestly wasn’t sure if I could do it. I ended up having a great race that helped me start off a busy week on a high note, but all the way until the halfway point I was wondering, is this going to work?

It reminded me of the question I’ve heard from readers a few times over the past year: what happens when we don’t achieve an important goal?

I do everything I can to achieve what I set out to do, but it’s true that once in a while, something doesn’t work out as planned. In the case of failure, I adopt a three-step process as outlined below.

1. Acknowledge disappointment. If something doesn’t work out, I don’t want to kill myself over it– but I also don’t want to forget about it right away. I take goal-setting seriously and I don’t want to fail. If it happens, I’m going to be a little disappointed, and that’s OK.

2. Revert to backups if possible. The goal of running two half-marathons instead of one full marathon is a good example of a backup goal. I don’t have any pretense that two halves equals a whole (they are very different events, and the full marathon is much more challenging for most runners). However, I view the two half-marathons as an acceptable backup goal. Because of everything else I’ve been involved in this year, I don’t mind accepting a substitute as long as it is somewhat comparable. Which leads me to the past point:

3. Compare to other goals at the end of the year (and reevaluate for next year). If I really don’t do something well that I had planned for, I may be disappointed, but I’ll try to put it in context of everything else I did manage to accomplish.

As part of this final step, when I fail to do something I deliberately set out to do, I re-evaluate that goal in the context of future planning. This begins with asking myself how important the goal is to me. Do I really want to run full marathons? What if I have to choose between visiting 20 countries a year and running 26.2 miles at one time?

In a case like this I can either a) keep the goal on the list for another time, or b) decide I don’t need to worry about it for now.

To take another example, for three years in a row I was frustrated with a side business I had built while overseas. The business was successful in a financial sense, but growth was stagnant and I found I lacked the desire to make the improvements I knew it needed. Three times I set important goals for the business, and three times it didn’t happen.

I finally gave up and just decided I would work on something I was more passionate about, which eventually became the site you are reading about now. With my ADD personality I work very hard at things I care about– and almost not at all at things I don’t care about. Thankfully, I care a lot about almost everything I am doing these days.

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Overall, I want to have many more successes than failures– and I believe that is what you can expect when you take goal-setting seriously. My personal success rate is more than 80%, and I don’t know why anyone else’s should be less. Someone more focused than me should probably be even higher.

Even with a >80% success rate, however, some things will fall through the cracks from time to time. I love running, but I think for now I may need to accept that the half-marathon is my longest distance while I’m still traveling so actively. That’s OK with me. It’s also nice to finish a race tired and fulfilled– but not completely dead to the world for several days, which is how I’ve felt after the three full marathons I’ve ran.

Another person might look at the same scenario and decide that making any sacrifice in a fitness goal is not acceptable. They might have to adjust the other activity (travel) to compensate, or perhaps find a third variable that could be adjusted to allow both goals to flourish.

Most Important

Remember, no one else will ever care about your goals as much as you do. If you don’t take them seriously, who will? Sometimes one of them may not work out as planned, but most of the time you’ll surprise yourself with how easy it was.

By the way, as of the day of this post, there are exactly 115 days left in 2009. Are you on track to finish everything you hoped for this year? If not, there’s still time to take another look.

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Bhutan is in South Asia, between Tibet, India, and Nepal. To put it in perspective, I’ve included a map below.

If you can’t view the video, here is a quick summary —

I’m having a great time here in the Himalayan Kingdom of Bhutan. It takes a lot to impress me, and Bhutan is an impressive and authentic destination.

Due to an active government strategy to promote sustainable tourism, it costs at least $200 a day per person, paid in advance, to visit here. For my five-day trip, I had to wire over a thousand bucks, not counting my airfare.

The $200/day is not as expensive as it initially seems, since that fee covers all lodging, meals, taxes, airport transfers, and guided tours. However, for budget travelers, it’s still a lot to swallow, especially since it must be paid in advance.

Frugality is one of my values, but I have my own definition of it. For me, frugality is not about giving up my daily coffee or putting my dreams on hold for the future. Instead, I think it’s about being clear about my values and structuring my life in a way that allows me to do things like go to Bhutan.

This kind of travel is something I’ve deliberately chosen to value. It’s not an impulse buy or something I do to escape a life I don’t like somewhere else.

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Update: this wasn’t in the video, but today I met with a government official with the tourism office to discuss the state of travel in Bhutan. One of the things he said struck me:

“There’s an old English proverb about how if you are careful with your pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves. In Bhutan we have turned it upside down – we’re more concerned with the pounds than the pennies.”

His quote was in the context of something different (attracting the right kind of tourists to the country), but I thought it relates to this post as well. Coming to Bhutan was relatively expensive. It costs pounds – or dollars, more than one thousand of them – but I’m glad I came.

The point is not that everyone should pack up and come to the Himalayas. The point is that when you are clear about your values and align your life accordingly, you’ll be able to do more of what you truly enjoy.

You also won’t feel guilty about spending money on those experiences, because you’ll know they are events you’ve decided to prioritize your life around. Are you clear about your values? What is your Bhutan?

That’s my $0.02 — or my $1,000 plus airfare, to be more precise.

Happy Thursday, wherever you are. I’m enjoying it over here in South Asia.

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If you can’t view the video, here is a quick summary —

What can I say about Saudi Arabia that’s flattering? Not a whole lot, to be honest. The most interesting thing was nearly being deported immediately after landing at Riyadh International Airport. In retrospect, it’s fun to remember six airport officials having an extended discussion in Arabic about which country they would like to send me too. At the time, I wouldn’t have minded being somewhere else.

Why then, some people wonder, do I bother? Couldn’t I still do the traveling thing and only go to fun places?

The answer (well, my answer) is that going to places like Saudi Arabia is a lot like running a marathon. When you run 26.2 miles, not all of it is fun. For me, I’m a great 18-mile runner. At some point between miles 19 and 26, hell on earth sets in.

All three times I’ve ran the marathon, I’ve become completely exhausted during the final third. A big part of me wants to quit at that point. Couldn’t I just be a happy, healthy 18-miler? I’d still be a runner, I’d feel better in the short-term – but of course, later on, I’d wonder about those final 8.2 miles. Was I really so weak I had to give up? A marathon is 26.2 miles, not 18 miles. Every country in the world doesn’t mean “every country except the hard ones.”

In other words, nothing worth doing is ever easy. You have to take the bitter with the sweet, the hardships with the successes. For me, I don’t really have a desire to ever return to Saudi Arabia – but since I know I would regret it if I didn’t at least go once, I’m glad I did. It’s OK.

Your thoughts?

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Also, a quick update on women, Saudi Arabia, and Islam: just because I said last week that Saudi isn’t the best place on earth does not mean I am maligning the entire Muslim world. Most of my readers are smart enough to understand that, so I don’t feel the need to continually explain everything to the nth degree.

I’ve had great experiences in Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, and Malaysia, just to mention a few places that are predominantly Islamic. There’s no need to interpret a specific criticism as a big generalization about an entire religion or group of people. The reality is that women in Saudi Arabia have very few rights to make their own choices, so I don’t think I should gloss over that fact either.

In short, Saudi isn’t really my favorite place – but it’s a big world out there, so that’s just fine. Now I’m back home in Portland, Oregon for a few weeks, which is kind of like mile three of the marathon. At mile three you’re floating along and just starting to settle into a long run. It’s a good feeling.

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If you can’t watch the video, here’s a short summary:

Lots of people have asked me about the goal of visiting every country. What criteria or standards do I use?

This is a big discussion in the travel community – everyone has an opinion. Some people count airport stops, some believe you have to spend the night or a week somewhere, and so on.

My opinion is that this is largely a personal matter.

For me, I don’t count airport stops and I try to spend at least a few days in each place I visit, but I also don’t worry about it that much. Out of 192+ countries, naturally there are going to be some where I’m not able to spend much time, at least not on the first visit.

I don’t worry about it because I’ve been traveling regularly for nearly 10 years. I don’t claim to be an expert about any place I visit – lately I haven’t even been reading guide books or doing much research before arriving somewhere. I just show up and see what happens, for better or worse. I end up returning to a lot of the same places over and over, so if I miss something the first time, it goes on the list for a return visit.

Also, travel is a deeply personal experience.

A big goal requires deeply personal, internal motivation. While I’m thrilled that so many people have become interested in my travel quest, I know that ultimately I have to own my own motivation for doing this. Any trip has lots of ups and downs, a certain amount of loneliness, sacrifices that must be made, etc.

If you rely on others to set criteria and standards for you, I think you’re setting yourself up for failure or disappointment. Better to define what success looks like on your own, and not worry about what other people think.

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That’s my $0.02 about visiting every country or pursuing any other important goal. As always, feel free to share your own perspective with other smart readers in the comments section.

Wishing you well from Ecuador,

cg

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In this video update, I give my answer to a good question I recently received from a reader: how do you convince someone to change their mind?

My answer is, “You don’t.” At least, not easily.

Convincing someone to change their mind is like selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. It’s not impossible, but why try? I think it’s better to recruit than to evangelize.

Although I definitely prefer recruitment (connecting with people who are predisposed to an idea) to evangelism (knocking on doors to sell vacuum cleaners), my answer isn’t the only answer. Feel free to share your thoughts and let me know if you’d answer it differently.

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Hi everyone, here’s a video update live from PDX International Airport before a recent flight to Los Angeles. Highlights include more news about Escape from Cubicle Nation, what Yoga Journal and Outside magazine have in common, and my middle seat (grrrr) on Alaska Airlines.

In short, I believe I can learn from everyone. There are approximately 6,706,993,152 people out there with something to teach me. I read 25 magazines a month, 50 books a year, tons of blogs, and have innumerable personal interactions with people all over the world. With each of these resources and conversations I try to focus on what I can learn and how I can improve myself. I don’t worry too much on what I disagree with – if I really disagree, I can always tune out that source.

Feel free to share your own resources with our other readers. As I say in the video, every day I enjoy learning from the smart people who post here. You guys are awesome.

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