Comments on: Authenticity: You Has It

By: Donna P.

Donna P. — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:42:05 +0000

Dear Chris,
I’ve just stumbled upon your blog today (Sep. 10, 2009) and I am so inspired by the few articles that I’ve read. I’ve always been the non-conformist at work, in my personal life, in my family, much to the chagrin of those around me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

By: Liz Mahoney

Liz Mahoney — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 08:42:35 +0000

Dear Chris,

Discovered your blog 48 hours ago and it’s changed my life for the better already. Have recommended it to my boss who I know will enjoy it also. Thank you for writing the way you do. You really are helping and inspiring others.

By: Kaitlin M

Kaitlin M — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 07:41:09 +0000

Great points again Chris.
Not only is it completely tiring trying to be someone else all the time, it’s fairly boring.
I like the point about the experts, I don’t bother to listen to the experts anymore, most of the time they don’t make sense and I like getting things wrong or right on my own anway.

By: Mike Turitzin

Mike Turitzin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:47:26 +0000

Charlotte, I loved your comment. I’ve been realizing more and more recently that, yes, it’s impossible to be everything to everyone. No matter what you do, someone will hate you, someone will resent you, and someone will think you’re an idiot. And that applies no matter how fool-proof you think your arguments and justifications are.

I like your use of the word “tolerance” — tolerance really is the most you’re going to get if you try to please everyone. It’s tempting to try to live life under the radar because that’s the best way to avoid criticism, but if you’re like me (and probably everyone else here), living that way is also deeply unfulfilling.

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:02:59 +0000

Fantastic post. I don’t find it particularly surprising (ironic, maybe, but not surprising) that the people I’ve seen who have tried hardest to be everything to everyone have ended up becoming nothing to anyone.

It’s really scary to put yourself out there. It’s scary to watch some people take a look at you and hasten the other way. But it’s even scarier, I think, to look back at the end of your life and realize that the only people you’ve ever kept in your life are people who made the same fundamental compromise you did: selling out in order to gain the tolerance (not respect, love, admiration, or even hatred, but tolerance) of other sellers-out. Can you imagine? Authenticity = not being That Guy.

Thanks for this, Chris.

By: Christina Gremore

Christina Gremore — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:48:13 +0000

I recently linked to an article in the New York Times about students being placed under the guidance of independent college admissions counselors. They instruct them in things like which classes to take, which foreign language to study, and which instrument to play. The ultimate goal is to mold the child into a prestigious college's ideal applicant. On my blog, I talk about this loss of priorities, and how it reminds me of some advice I got a long time ago from a well-meaning male friend, on the topic of "what guys like." Ultimately, I agree with Gary Vaynerchuk: "Not being yourself is exhausting."

By: Trackback from Living the Life Less Traveled

Trackback from Living the Life Less Traveled — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:18:26 +0000

[...] his latest offering about getting your message out to the world, click here. Check out his latest post on authenticity. It’s a heckuva lot better than a post I wrote on the same topic a few years [...]

By: Geraldine

Geraldine — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:30:46 +0000

Thanks again for a post that hits you where you live. I turned fifty this year, and have become more aware than ever of the necessity of not trying to be what you’re not or do what doesn’t suit you. I’d like to say the awareness was an academic thing, but it isn’t. The awareness comes from my own process. If you’ve ever smiled until your jaw hurts or changed the way you dress, or talk, or even how you present yourself because of some (unspoken) demand from someone or something, then you know you need to stop living as if ‘the whole world is a stage, and we ourselves are merely players’ (to paraphrase the bard!).

By: Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:18:10 +0000

most lovely, Mr G. We live in a culture of third person packaging. And people are craving live and connect in first person.

By: Tyler Karaszewski

Tyler Karaszewski — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 06:32:00 +0000

When I do things my way, ignore the experts, state my opinion, and act critical or skeptical of the way other people are doing things I tend to get called brash, arrogant, or contrary by detractors, and if I’m lucky, something like “brutally honest” by my friends.

Considering that I’m not in the business of ‘putting my message out there’, sometimes I wonder what’s the point. I’m not obligated to share my opinion online, and a lot of people seem annoyed that I’d suggest something different than everyone else is doing.

Authenticity’s not my issue — it’s the fact that a lot of people seem to get upset when you rock the boat.